


and nothing more

by Murf1307



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Coital
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-17
Updated: 2013-11-17
Packaged: 2018-01-01 21:54:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1049007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Murf1307/pseuds/Murf1307
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Enjolras and Grantaire have sex the first time while drunk, Enjolras has to convince Grantaire that he wants to stay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	and nothing more

**Author's Note:**

> written based on [this poem](http://quirkywolf.tumblr.com/post/49970708832) on tumblr

When they fuck, the first time, it’s drunk and fumbling and desperate. They clutch and cling and rut, because they don’t know what they’re doing and Enjolras knows, at least, that he’s scared shitless of what it all  _means_

They fall asleep tangled up together, but when Enjolras wakes up, Grantaire is nearly falling off the bed — he’s awake, and not moving. It’s five a.m.; the deep blue not-light of pre-dawn sky filters in the blinds and Enjolras can’t breathe, because Grantaire is beautiful like this and he wants to pull him close again and kiss every inch of him, if Grantaire lets him.

He reaches over and lays his fingertips gently across Grantaire’s shoulder blade; he’s not precisely sure how they’re both naked, but Grantaire’s skin is soft and Enjolras loves him, so it’s not like it’s a hardship.

"Are you leaving?" Grantaire asks, his voice harsh in the dark.

It hurts to hear. Enjolras swallows. “Do you want me to go? Because if that’s what you want, I’ll go, but if it’s not I’d like to stay.”

Grantaire turns over and looks at him, judging. “Why?”

"I…" He needs to say it — it’s the truth, and it’s the only thing he can say that means anything. "I want to wake up with you in the morning," he winds up saying, because that’s close and he’s too afraid to lay it straight out between them.

"Right," Grantaire says, laughing bitterly. "Of course. Have to get your rest, you’ve got a world to deliver up to perfection or whatever." He turns over again, away. "Do whatever you want."

Enjolras reaches out again, hand resting this time on Grantaire’s waist. His head aches a little, but this is more important. “Whatever I want?” he asks softly. “How much of a blanket statement is that? Because right now I want to hold you.”

Grantaire makes a noise like he’s been punched in the stomach. “Stop doing that.”

"Sorry," Enjolras says quietly, pulling his hand away. "Could you tell me what I’m doing wrong? So I don’t do it again?"

"You’re —" Grantaire cuts himself off, scrubs a hand through his hair. "You’re acting like — like you care about me. Like that."

Enjolras pauses. “But I do. I wouldn’t have — even drunk, I wouldn’t have done this if I didn’t.” He shakes his head and stares at the back of Grantaire’s. “To be totally and completely honest, I’m in love with you.”

Grantaire twists around, looks almost furious. “Not me, you can’t  _love me_.” He drags in a ragged breath. “I’m — I’m  _dirt_ , and ash and dust and you  _can’t.”_

"The earth is dirt and dust but it’s something to keep us all steady and alive." Enjolras takes hold of the metaphor and runs with it. "You keep me grounded, you make me prove myself and I love you even more for it. You’re like gravity and I can’t get away and I don’t want to, because you’re steady and constant and I love you."

Grantaire tips over onto his back, laughing hollowly. “Bullshit.” Then, softer: “You deserve much better than me.”

"Fuck _deserving_ , this isn’t something where anything matters but the fact that I love you and I want to be with you." Enjolras keeps his anger in check. "I love you because you’re kind and loyal and brilliant and even though we fight there’s nothing I want more than to be around you." He pauses. "I want to kiss you.  I want — I want to hold you.  I want to be here in the morning when you wake up."

Grantaire closes his eyes and says nothing.

"Will you let me do that?" Enjolras asks softly.

"I still don’t understand," Grantaire mumbles.  "Why would — I don’t."

Enjolras reaches out, hesitantly.  ”I…can’t put it more clearly than that, R.”  He sighs, hand dropping onto Grantaire’s shoulder.  ”Can I kiss you again?”

Grantaire makes a soft noise.  ”Please.”

So Enjolras does.  He leans up on his elbow and turns over, bracing himself over Grantaire.  He kisses him softly, gently, just once before pulling back.

"Again," Grantaire breathes, his eyes still shut.

They go on like that — Enjolras doesn’t do anything Grantaire doesn’t ask him to do, but they wind up wrapped up in each other anyway.

Drifting off to sleep again, Enjolras knows that this doesn’t  _fix_  anything.

But it’s a start, and, for now, that’s enough.


End file.
